Maybe it’s my age, I don’t know. But, I have always cared about my appearance and never felt guilty about it. I loved being slim, getting my hair done, wearing nice clothes and having beauty treatments. When I was pregnant with the girls, I gained a lot of weight. Partly because I had prenatal depression, stressful circumstances and SPD.
I lost that weight, regained it, lost it again and regained some once more. I have since had a long hard look at my situation and vowed to get back to the Kat I once was but an even better version. I have made some positive lifestyle changes which now define me; I am a vegan, I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink caffeine and I am in the process of going sugar-free which I am 95% nailing thanks to the Allen Carr Easyway Sugar-Free Program. Some people would think that’s a boring way to live but I have lived the opposite way for far too long and it wasn’t making me happy, it was making me depressed and anxious.
I finally listened to my body and made the changes I needed to make in order for me to live a happier, fulfilled, focused and purposeful life.
Whilst I don’t do any hardcore exercise at the moment, I plan to get back to the gym to start doing classes including yoga and pilates in between cardio workouts. For now, I walk to the nursery and back and we go for walks most afternoons.
Changes vs Acceptance
Wanting to look your best is not vain; well, I don’t think it is. But for some reason, some of us seem to think it is. I feel like I was being brainwashed. When we aren’t looking our best we seem to fall into a trap that wanting to make ourselves feel and look better about ourselves doesn’t come from making changes. Apparently, it comes from acceptance.
Well, I have tried to accept that I am the way I am and it’s made me miserable. I am not like this and nor do I want to look like this. That doesn’t make me selfish and vain. It makes me aware that being a certain weight isn’t healthy for me or my children.
I’m not obese, I know that. But I am not at a weight that I want to be. I’m also not on a diet which makes losing all this weight makes me feel more amazing. I don’t follow a diet plan and I certainly don’t weigh out amounts of food. I cook tasty, delicious, healthy and filling food that we all eat.
What I did have to do, was face the situation head-on. I had to accept that I wasn’t looking the way I wanted to look. It’s got nothing to do with anyone else, how can it? I am single and haven’t dated for 5 years. The opposite sex has zero involvement. It’s all to do with what I see in the mirror and my confidence.
I wear minimal make-up because I always have. Occasionally I will wear red lipstick but most of the time I am bare but again, there is nothing wrong with wearing make-up. If that’s what you want to do then do it. My skincare is more important to me rather than trying to cover up. I would much rather go make-up free day to day but when I go out or have meetings, then it’s nice to wear make-up.
I’m sure there will be many women reading this wondering why I am writing about something that some of us don’t want to hear. Simply put, I am sick of being dictated to by the media. One minute we are meant to look skinny and flawless and the next we are meant to embrace the fat rolls. We all seem obsessed with what everyone else is doing and what everyone else looks like yet the place we need to look the most, is at ourselves.
Beauty is Skin Deep
There is a lot to be said for really feeling comfortable in your own skin and everyone is different. We need to focus on what we want and how we want ourselves to look. Not what a magazine or celebrity looks like.
Wanting to feel and look a certain way that brings us joy is a personal thing and as long as we feel happy and confident in the way we look, that’s all that matters. I also don’t just mean on the outside, we also need to work on the inside by evaluating values and goals.
Are we really living life the way we want to live it? With the people, we want to share it with? Life is too short to be miserable and pleasing others that bring negativity to our lives.
I don’t have tattoos or piercings but some people look amazing with them and I can appreciate the beauty of them, it’s just not for me. Some people look amazing with loads of make-up on but I don’t, I actually think I look worse – again, it’s all personal. Some people carry weight well and look stunning and voluptuous – it doesn’t work for me – I look hideous when I gain weight.
All that matters is how you feel about yourself and if you think there are ways to make yourself feel better physically and mentally, then I strongly believe it’s your duty to make those changes. No good will come from just accepting your situation unless that is going to make you happy. But don’t fight it for the sake of fighting it, if you want to make changes then don’t put it off any longer.