Something that I have wanted to share for some time now is the fact my anxiety has fallen dramatically.
Over the past few years, it reached an all-time high. I experienced some awful attacks which left me in some pretty bad places mentally. Depression usually follows an anxiety attack and then the cycle begins again.
Feeling trapped in your own mind is one hell of a lonely place.
You start to feel like you are going mad, talking to yourself out of horrible self-loathing thoughts. You disregard your body and mind altogether and you see no reason to bother to look after yourself. After all, what is the point?
The moment I realised that the torture I was putting myself through was the moment I recognised that my life couldn’t go on like this anymore.
Hiding the fact I felt so alone, depressed, unloved and worthless.
To the outside world, I drew on a smile. After all, I wouldn’t want anyone else worrying about me or being seen as not coping. I must remain strong.
But the thing is, that’s the last thing I should have done, but it’s hard to change habits of a lifetime right?
I tend to “lock” myself away, push people away until I can figure out what I can do to make the situation better.
During the summer holidays last year, the girls and I had a blast. We were fortunate enough to go away with my family. The sun did us all the world of good. We spent lots of time with friends, days out and generally enjoying ourselves.
The end of August was my birthday and I promised myself that I would make that the last time I drank alcohol.
So whilst I wasn’t drinking that much, I was binge drinking. When the girls went off to their dads (every other weekend), I would drink a bottle of wine on Friday night. I would then spend the whole weekend feeling like crap, unmotivated, lack energy, bear with a sore head and depressed.
The thing is, I missed the girls. I hate them being away but I know I need the break. But it didn’t stop me from feeling like I had let my family down by the whole situation. There have been weekends where one of the girls sobbed uncontrollably, not wanting to leave me and I felt like I was forcing her to go. It was horrendous to say the least.
It also emphasised how alone I was. Which really sucks at times. But I wasn’t doing myself any favours.
I started to decrease the amount and even on occasions didn’t drink at all. The difference I felt was incredible. So, I made the decision to never drink again – I finally quit alcohol. My journey has been painless and I feel free. It’s only been 6 months, but life has changed for the better. I am happier, calmer, energetic, more positive, motivated and feel like I am smiling from the inside out again.
You are what you eat right?
What we consume makes a huge difference to our output. If you eat foods that really shouldn’t be in your body, how can your body function correctly? Don’t get me wrong, I am still working on a lot of foods in my diet but it’s a darn sight better than it was 3 years ago.
Whilst I was a vegetarian, I was still consuming all the things I shouldn’t have consumed.
Our bodies have been carefully crafted and were not meant to consume half the things we chuck down our neck.
That’s why humans suffer from heart diseases, liver diseases, strokes, diabetes, obesity and so forth.
Our bodies were intelligently designed and our DNA contains chemicals that react with other chemicals in perfect harmony. Feed our DNA proteins with the wrong fuel then you have a recipe for disaster.
I get that changing your lifestyle to extremes is hard, but essentially you are stripping it back to its core. What your body was intended to live on.
When we are babies, we didn’t come out crying for a lump of meat or a glass of pinot, did we? Or a bag of sweets or ice cream, a lump of cheese?
Since being on a vegan diet, less sugar and no alcohol my anxiety levels have decreased dramatically. I am able to think clearer and see things for what they really are.
The hot topic of 2017 which will continue into 2018. It’s no mistake this is a buzz word right now. More than ever before, we need to start practising self-care. We know we need to, but why do we avoid it? Is it because we think we are less deserving of it? Has the pressure of society made us believe that we need to keep going in order to succeed? or fit in?
Whatever the reason, we need to face it head on and start looking at ways to look after yourself. It can start with making the smallest change like blocking out some time to yourself each evening to practice mindfulness, visualisation, yoga, bubble bath, reading – whatever takes your fancy.
When you give yourself the chance to stop and think – you realise that there are areas in your life that need to be addressed. It’s a wonderful feeling getting your life back on track.