I had originally written this piece about 3 years ago for an old blog of mine and at the time, it was one of the most popular posts I had written to date.
Around the same time, I was diagnosed with PND which worked out about 5 months after my twins were born (textbook timing). It was a scary place and I found writing about my feelings really helped. My anxiety levels were at an all-time high including separation anxiety; which was a root cause of a lot of my behaviours.
I look back now and I just want to hug that person so tight and tell them, it’s going to be OK, you will get through this and I am here for you no matter what.
Life isn’t always easy and we must appreciate that we all deal and cope with things differently and that’s OK, that’s what makes life, life! As someone who has been dragged through the depression hedge backwards a fair few times, I feel like I have become a bit of a veteran when it comes to “picking myself up” again. I say that loosely because when you have depression, it’s not that easy to do so. It’s more about noticing the signs, avoiding triggers and coping with what’s been thrown at you a little differently to maybe how you once used to.
My confidence had been knocked sideways and then some more and I just felt like I didn’t have a place in the whole entrepreneurial/blogging world but guess what? I did and I still do and I put together some key pointers that have played a part in resetting my mind which helps me refocus on my goals and dreams of being a female entrepreneur.
Keep Falling into Negative Mindset Traps? Check Out These 9 Ideas to Stay Positive About Your Goals and Dreams
The World Doesn’t Owe You a Favour
Cliché I know but the harsh reality is just that. It doesn’t matter what has happened to you in life, the world and the people in it don’t owe you anything. So, make your own happiness, create your own destiny and keep yourself on track. Don’t allow others to be the reason for your happiness and certainly don’t rely on others to make you happy.
If You Don’t Ask, You Don’t Get
People are not mind readers, if you really want something, ask for it! Simple. You’ve got nothing to lose. Don’t wait for opportunities to fall on your lap, you’ll be waiting a very long time. If you want something bad enough, you’ll go get it and make it happen.
I bang on about self-care A LOT and that’s because it works. I was that person that would only do things for others. I thought self-care meant you had to be selfish! Resting in-between the crazy days is essential to avoid burning out – trust me, I know. I have burnt out a lot over the past 15 years trying to take on the world.
Be True to Yourself
This is paramount, how can you know what you want in life if you aren’t true to you? Stepping into someone else’s life is not going to make you happy. Comparing yourself to others will not make you happy. So always be you and be true to yourself, be unique and embrace yourself, discover your own passions and what you have to offer the world.
Please People, Yes, But Please Yourself First
I used to always try pleasing others first to the point I made my own life a misery! As soon as I stopped this, life changed for me. After all, no one else was dropping everything for me. Check out my STOP Pleasing Others and Learn to Say No post.
Stop Talking, Start Doing
For all those ideas whirling around your head of things you want to try and do, well; just do it! Jump out of a plane, go wing-walking, start a blog, go on a rally day, start that business, go clay shooting, set up your first workshop, take that trip, start writing that book. Ask yourself, why hold it off? What is stopping you? So, stop talking about what you’re going to do, just do it. You never know where those first steps to doing will take you.
Treat Those How You Want to be Treated
It’s a classic, isn’t it? but it’s so true! Treat people with respect, love and kindness. If they don’t do the same back then they weren’t worth it, move on and leave them out of your life.
Don’t Surround Yourself with Laying Ducks
A top tip indeed and one that my dad taught me. Ditch the people that use you, drain you and take advantage of you. Throw out the bad rubbish. You are going places, they clearly aren’t. You haven’t got time for people who will drag you down, hold you back or stop you from living your life in its entirety.
Be Grateful for all the Positive in your Life Right NOW
So, whilst dreams and aspirations are all very healthy, being grateful for the here and now is equally important if not more so. Don’t take loved ones for granted and be grateful for all the good in your life. By practising gratitude daily and opening yourself up to positivity, you will see a positive change happen almost immediately.
Light and love