Being the main responsible parent of my beautiful twins means that I am the one that sets routines and does most of the guiding on behaviour. By that I mean, they are with me 26 days out of 30 for example. So that’s a lot of time to be influencing the girl’s lives.
When you are that parent that inputs more with things like the cleaning, cooking, tidying, sorting nursery/school tasks, general welfare and care of the kids, work, taking care of other things, it can feel like we are the less fun ones. That the other parent doesn’t have to deal with the day in day out stuff and just whisks the kids off into the fun sunset.
Because of this, I don’t ever want to be the mum that said no to them to having fun. Even when I am tired or unwell, I don’t care. I want happy memories to be etched in their minds that mummy always has fun. Not just for the obvious reasons, but I want my children to feel that I am on a level of understanding with them. That’s hugely important to me.
Take today for instance. I have lost my voice again (it’s something that has always happened to me) I’ve got a raging toothache and I didn’t sleep very well last night because I slept on the floor. We had guests and I didn’t fancy sleeping on the sofa bed. In hindsight, maybe I should have done, but I digress. But you get my point, right? I was dog tired and under the weather.
But today, was the day after the panto. The panto which the girls loved so much they want me to take them again. Can I also just quickly add that they think I’m even cooler than I was before, because the Prince in Snow White now follows me on Twitter, RT’d and replied to my tweet. Although they have no idea what Twitter is, they could just see the Prince sent a message. #MumWin.
But today was a snow day. We all woke up to a snow day – epic! Their best friend was also here having a sleepover with them last night and they all screamed with sheer joy that there was loads of snow outside. We raced to get our wellies and coats on and jumped outside into the snow and starting having a snowball fight.
When their friend left, we went out to the back garden and continued to mess around in the snow. We built a snowman, had more snowball fights and made snow angels. We have had such a great day despite not having much else planned.
Watching their smiley, happy and goofy faces playing was heart melting. I often stop and catch myself just staring at them in amazement. I can’t believe that I created these little people. These little people with big personalities and big hearts.
I don’t ever want them to look back on their childhood and remember that mummy was always busy doing other stuff like cleaning and tidying. For those things are trivial in the grand scheme of things. As I work from home, it has come up a few times that mummy works a lot. This does upset me a little and I do my best to work when they are at nursery and in the evening. It’s hard to find a balance and get it right. After all, everyone’s circumstances differ and you have to do what’s right for your family’s needs.
I do like to have a tidy and clean home and I was always worrying that the house wasn’t tidy enough, that the dishes all needed to be done before bed. But you know what? I’ve come to realise that it’s a load of crap! OK, it’s nice to live in a clean and tidy home etc. which we do, but now and again, a few dishes left on the side or shoes not put away isn’t the end of the world. Especially when you get to have fun with your children instead. I don’t want to look back at the years and remember missed moments all because I was trying to achieve perfection.
They regard me as their best friend. The mum that has fun with them. The mum that does put silly voices on and chases them around the house pretending to be the tickle monster or doing superman moves. The mum that takes them to fun places to do fun things. But most importantly, the mum they always come to no matter what and know that they tell me absolutely anything that’s troubling them and, help me help them with anything that life throws at them.