It’s International Women’s Day on March 8th and there will be a plethora of posts from men and women sharing their opinions on various viewpoints from feminism, rights, body image, cultures, diversity and more. It’s a chance for voices to be heard and issues to be raised globally.
All women from all over the world have the right to stand up for what they believe in and be heard, not just for one day a year, but every day for as long as it takes to be heard.
The spotlight is on all females to make some empowering statements about how proud they are to be a woman. Whilst I’m proud of being a woman, let’s be honest – it’s not an easy ride. We are expected to be many things. A doting wife, an amazing friend, a super mum. We need to be able to rise to the occasion and rise above situations and still deal with negative behaviour from both men and women – yes, even our own gender turns against us. Check my post on How Genuine is The Sisterhood?
We get slammed for wearing makeup
We get slammed for wearing feminine clothing
We get slammed for being successful
We get slammed for not being successful enough
There will always be a reason to slam a woman no matter what her background, education, beliefs, values and culture.
But what about the women that have no rights over their own body.
Being dictated to about pregnancy and abortion
Told to cover up and to never reveal herself
To walk behind men never beside or in front
But we have to use this opportunity to fight for the voice for the issues we want to raise.
For me personally, it’s all one giant issue and equality is always at the forefront of my thoughts on this but mainly since becoming a mother. I have felt the restrictions and personally going through some pretty monumental ones despite this being 2018.
I always used to say to my dad, if there is such thing as an afterlife; I’m coming back as a man. Men seemed to have it sussed. They don’t have periods. They don’t go through pregnancy but get all the joys of parenting without the body and hormone changes. And when they do become fathers, it’s pretty much certain that they will be the ones going back to work. Their jobs are safe. They get to climb the career ladder – not much changes for them in comparison to a woman.
But as I have grown and since becoming a mother, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Now more than ever, I am damn proud of being a woman but speaking as a mum; we are expected to step up into the role of full-time mum. In some cases, expected to return to work and pick up where she left off, without a thought for her absence whilst on maternity leave and how she would have had to adapt her life over that duration. When we do want or need to return to work, women are the ones that need flexibility in our careers but in some cases, we won’t even get employed because we have children – it’s seen as an inconvenience.
Whilst so many perceive that we are progressing, it doesn’t feel quick enough in my opinion and I’m certainly not experiencing equality in this area right now.
From a mother’s point of view, another area I have concerns for is for my children. I have two little girls that I want to grow up in a world where life really is beyond equal.
Where girls toys and boys toys don’t exist
Where career paths aren’t chosen based on gender capabilities
Where they will be respected by men and women
Where they won’t be afraid to walk home alone
Where women are seen as intelligent
Where women are seen as strong both physically and mentally
Where they won’t refrain from asking for the money they deserve in their career
Where they are treated as an individual rather than generalised as a gender
Another challenge I have found myself facing is the fact I am now a single mummy, which has brought on its own challenges and personally, I’ve come under my own insecurities. Funnily enough, I ended things with my now ex 3 years ago on the 8th March.
Dating is a real grey area for me right now and I have shared my thoughts here on the blog if you fancy taking a read (Single Parent Dating). I have been put off, “putting myself out there” in fear of judgement and scared the confidence that I have been working on this past 3 years will just be knocked back down again due to a man’s opinion of single mums. According to some men, being a single mum apparently means you are incapable of having a life if there is no man ‘about the house.’ Because putting the bins out, changing light bulbs, mowing the lawn, painting a room and doing odd jobs around the house is much too tasking for women. I wouldn’t want to break a nail, after all, would I? I don’t even rely on a man for sex because the last time I had sex or a kiss was 5 years ago and I’m actually proud of that fact. I work my arse off daily and work as many hours as I can to ensure I am here for my children in every aspect of their life. They are my priority first and foremost and my constant driving force.
To live in a world where we are equal is never going to happen. We can and never will be equal.
After all, a man cannot have a baby and they don’t have a biological body clock either. A man’s sperm (as long as it’s in working order) can fertilize an egg and can potentially find himself fathering children well into his 70s if he’s sleeping with a fertile woman. Whilst most women have a maternal desire for children
Whilst most women have a maternal desire for children and have a time frame and it’s short; that’s why women are trying to have it all. Instead of men bashing women for wanting to live their best lives possible, they should be supportive of us during this period of our life.
We have this burning desire to be wonder woman and want to have it all from being independent to the best mum possible. We have looked back over time and the history records speak for themselves. The outcome has meant that we’ve wanted to place ourselves in a better position of power.
You can’t fight human nature/design.
But to say we will be equal is impossible.
We need to be able to learn how to adapt to the role of modern day woman.
Far too many people are stuck in the 50s and haven’t quite got their heads around it no longer being a man’s world and the real matter of issue here is that we shouldn’t want it to be a mans world. The human race is made of two sexes. Male and female. End of. One can’t exist without the other but thanks to modern tech – we actually can. But you catch my drift.
(Another post you might be interested in reading is my Thoughts on The Grid Girl Ban)
I have standards and values that I will live by and I’m certainly not a woman that backs down on her values and beliefs. That hasn’t always worked well in relationships as the men I have been in long-term relationships with, have very different core values on the female and male roles. I’m just not your “typical house making woman” and if that means not having a man in my life, then so be it. But I’d like to think there is a man out there can respect what I stand for and that I can equally respect back.
Archaic beliefs about women being in the kitchen just don’t suit mine but it does for some and there’s nothing wrong with that – if that’s what makes you happy, we are all different. But if we are talking about women serving a sole purpose in life and that’s to have children and be a homemaker (which a lot of men still believe is the way they want to live), well now that I’ve got my children, what’s the point in having a man right? Obviously, we all have more than just one purpose which clearly brings us to a conclusion that there’s a lot more to men and women than procreation.
Women need to be given the chance to evolve.
We’ve been suppressed for years and we are now working on our confidence.
We need to be supported
We need to be empowered
We need the freedom to fly!
Let’s start living in a world where women are embraced and free to be who we were destined to be.